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Being ‘Mom Tired’ Is Different: 11 Reasons Moms Are Unimaginably Tired
1. Sleep Deprivation
This is no small thing! A huge factor of being uniquely ‘mom tired’, is the moderate to severe lack of sleep. And at some point in motherhood, most moms are severely sleep deprived.
Day after day, often year after year, moms aren’t getting enough sleep because they are caring for their children’s needs and tending to their other responsibilities before and after.
According to research, sleep deprivation can have several negative effects on a person’s physical and mental health.
One of the most common effects of sleep deprivation is fatigue. When a person does not get enough sleep, they are likely to feel tired and sluggish throughout the day. This can affect their ability to concentrate, make decisions, and perform tasks that require physical or mental effort.
Sleep deprivation can also weaken the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illnesses such as the common cold or flu. It can also increase the risk of developing chronic conditions such as diabetes, obesity, and heart disease.
In addition to physical effects, sleep deprivation can also have negative effects on mental health. It has been linked to an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders. It can also affect memory and cognitive function, making it more difficult to learn and retain new information.
2. Constant Multi-Tasking
Another unique part of being utterly ‘mom tired’ is constantly multi tasking – not just at work, but at home, on the drive home, in your free time – always.
Moms have to regularly juggle multiple responsibilities, such as taking care of their children’s needs, managing their household and calendars, spending quality time with each family member, tending to their own needs, and working in or outside the home.
Studies have found that multitasking can lead to a decrease in cognitive function and an increase in errors. When individuals attempt to perform multiple tasks at once, their attention becomes divided, leading to a decrease in the quality of their work.
This can lead to mistakes, which may ultimately take more time to correct than if the individual had focused on one task at a time.
In addition to decreased productivity, multitasking has also been linked to increased stress levels.
When individuals attempt to juggle multiple tasks at once, they may feel overwhelmed and anxious, which can ultimately lead to burnout.
3. Emotional Labor
Now this might be one of those aspects of being ‘mom tired’ that is nearly impossible to describe to someone without children or for a non-mom to understand on a real level.
Moms often have to manage their own emotions about all the things, as well as the emotions of their children and partner.
They are tasked to be the ‘anchor in the storm’, the calm and confident leader, the problem solver, referee and coach, the listening ear, the comfort, the soother, therapist… all the things!
As a mom, you are sorting through so many feelings due to your new role and life, all your new challenges and responsibilities, the new dynamic between you and your partner, the new dynamic between you and your child, the ever-changing dynamic between your children, the dynamic between your partner and your children, societal and familial input and opinions – so so many feelings! And those are just your own.
You are also exposed to your children’s constant emotional experience and expression.
It’s a huge amount of emotion and emotional management, far more than most have ever been around or responsible for.
Research has shown that emotional labor can have both positive and negative effects on an individual.
On the positive side, emotional labor can lead to job satisfaction and success in certain professions, such as those in the service industry where workers are expected to be friendly and personable. It can also help individuals develop emotional intelligence and empathy, as they learn to understand and manage their own emotions and the emotions of others.
However, on the negative side, emotional labor can lead to burnout, stress, and exhaustion. It can be particularly challenging for individuals who are expected to display positive emotions even when they are feeling negative, such as healthcare workers who must remain compassionate and caring even in the face of difficult patients or situations. Research has also shown that emotional labor can have a disproportionate effect on women and marginalized groups, who may be expected to perform emotional labor without adequate compensation or support.
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4. Physical Demands
Taking care of children can be physically demanding, from breastfeeding day and night, carrying, comforting, lifting them, laying them, moving them, to helping them with all the things like reaching things, taking turns, changing diapers, feeding, cooking, cleaning up, changing clothes, bathing them – constant tasks when they are younger up to about 3 years old or older!
According to research, constantly caregiving for someone else can have both positive and negative effects on the caregiver’s physical and mental health. On one hand, caregiving can promote a sense of purpose and fulfillment, as well as strengthen the relationship between the caregiver and care recipient.
However, it can also lead to chronic stress, which can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and other health problems.
In addition, caregivers may experience social isolation and financial strain, as they may need to reduce their work hours or quit their job altogether to provide care. This can further exacerbate stress and impact their overall well-being.
It is important for caregivers to prioritize their own self-care, aiming to find a balance between caring for others and caring for themselves, and seek support from family, friends, or professional services when needed. This can include taking breaks, engaging in activities they enjoy, and seeking counseling or therapy. By taking care of their own needs, caregivers can better support their loved ones and maintain their own health and well-being.
5. Lack Of Support
Another huge piece of being ‘mom tired’ is the fact that many mothers may feel unsupported, like they are doing everything alone, which can be overwhelming and exhausting, and create resentment, strain, and additional stress.
Whether intentional or unintentional by their partners, many moms feel like they carry majority of the parental load. And many couples don’t have the healthy and constructive conversations that make things more fair at home.
Society, religion, culture, and one’s upbringing can all play a role in the responsibilities a mom and dad take on, in each individual home.
Lack of support from family and friends can contribute to moms feeling unsupported as well.
Research has shown that being unsupported can have a significant negative impact on an individual’s mental and physical health. When someone lacks the support of family, friends, or community, they may experience feelings of isolation, loneliness, and stress. This can lead to an increased risk of developing depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.
Furthermore, a lack of support can also impact an individual’s physical health. Studies have shown that those who lack social support are at a higher risk of developing chronic illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure. The stress of being unsupported can also weaken the immune system, making it more difficult for the body to fight off infections and illnesses.
It’s important to remember that everyone needs support at some point in their lives. Seeking out support from loved ones, community groups, or mental health professionals can help alleviate the negative effects of being unsupported and improve overall health and well-being.
6. Guilt
Moms often feel guilty for various reasons including, not spending enough time with their child, how they respond to their child, and not being able to get all the tasks they have on their to do list done, which can add to their stress and exhaustion.
Guilt is a complex emotion that can have a significant impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. According to research, the experience of guilt can lead to a range of negative outcomes, including increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.
One study conducted by researchers at the University of Oregon found that feelings of guilt can activate the body’s stress response, leading to increased levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress. This can have negative effects on the immune system, cardiovascular system, and overall health.
Other research has found that guilt can lead to rumination, or the tendency to dwell on negative thoughts and experiences. This can contribute to the development of anxiety and depression, as it can be difficult to break out of negative thought patterns.
However, it’s important to note that guilt can also serve a positive function, motivating people to make amends for their actions and strive to do better in the future. When experienced in moderation, guilt can be a powerful tool for personal growth and moral development.
Overall, the impact of guilt on an individual can vary depending on the circumstances and the individual’s coping mechanisms.
7. Hormonal Changes
Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding can lead to hormonal changes that can affect a mom’s energy levels.
According to research, hormonal changes can have a significant impact on moms. During pregnancy, there is an increase in hormones like estrogen and progesterone, which can lead to physical symptoms such as morning sickness, fatigue, and mood swings. These hormones also play a role in preparing the body for childbirth and lactation.
After giving birth, hormone levels shift dramatically, with a decrease in estrogen and progesterone and an increase in prolactin and oxytocin. This can result in postpartum symptoms such as depression, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping. Hormonal changes can also affect breastfeeding, with prolactin stimulating milk production and oxytocin facilitating milk letdown.
Additionally, research has found that hormonal changes can have long-term effects on moms. For example, a study published in the Journal of Women’s Health found that women who experienced postpartum depression had lower levels of estrogen and progesterone during pregnancy than women who did not experience postpartum depression. Hormonal changes may also impact a woman’s risk for developing conditions such as osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease later in life.
Overall, hormonal changes can have a significant impact on moms both physically and emotionally.
Typically hormone levels return to pre-pregnancy levels within a few months. However, some hormonal changes may persist for longer periods of time, especially in cases where women experience postpartum depression or other mood disorders.
8. Mental Load
Another main reason ‘mom-tired’ is so uniquely different than being just your basic level of tired, is because moms often have to keep track of the schedules of everyone in their family, tend to appointments, childcare responsibilities, errands, extracurriculars, and other important details, which can be a huge responsibility load that is time consuming as well as mentally draining.
Many couples may not talk about all those little technical details of running a family and household. And if they do, it might be in strain or stress, and not in a kind, teamwork kind of way, adding to familial stress.
Bearing the mental load can have significant effects on an individual’s well-being, according to research.
Mental load refers to the cognitive burden of managing multiple tasks and responsibilities simultaneously, such as managing work and family life.
Studies have shown that individuals who bear a heavier mental load are at a higher risk of experiencing stress, anxiety, and depression. They may also have difficulty concentrating, making decisions, and completing tasks efficiently. Additionally, the constant pressure of mental load can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and sleep disturbances.
Furthermore, research suggests that women are more likely to bear a heavier mental load than men due to societal expectations and gender roles. This can result in a higher prevalence of mental health issues among women.
It is important for individuals to manage their mental load by prioritizing self-care, seeking support from loved ones through positive and effective communication, and taking charge in delegating tasks when possible.
9. Financial Stress
Constant stress of any kind can completely change how a person acts and reacts. I experienced this personally growing up and I know many moms around the world live in a reality that has constant stress and strain around money, which can be exhausting and keep one in a constant state of stress.
According to multiple research studies, financial stress can have a significant impact on an individual’s physical, mental and emotional well-being.
Financial stress can cause anxiety, depression, and high levels of stress, which can lead to physical health problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes.
Additionally, financial stress can negatively impact personal relationships, causing regular tension and conflicts with family, friends, and coworkers. It can also affect work performance and productivity, leading to decreased job satisfaction and increased absenteeism.
Research suggests that financial education, budgeting, and financial planning can help mitigate the negative effects of financial stress, and seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can also be beneficial.
Overall, money makes our worlds go around and when moms are experiencing financial stress or are part of a family with constant financial stress, the family experience can be very difficult, dark, strained, and sad a lot of the time.
10. Lack of Self-Care
Last but certainly not least on our list of what causes moms to be so darn tired, aka ‘mom tired’, is the lack of self care most moms, especially in the early months and year, experience.
As moms to new babies we are in this whirlwind of the world we live in being completely changed – from our bodies, to now having a 24/7 delicate dependent, to breastfeeding, not sleeping, our relationship with our partner changing, staying at home 24/7 with baby – SO much change!
And all this change is often so overwhelming to process that many moms just find themselves going through their to-dos like robots, zombies, and completely forgetting about taking care of themselves.
It’s just too much; just another task for us to tend to.
And we are tired.
Mom tired.
Then this becomes our new habit – forgetting about ourselves OR not tending to ourselves because it is just another thing we ‘must do’.
So we just stay on the hamster wheel of caring for our children, our home, our jobs, and our to-dos, sans our own much needed self-care to recharge, refresh, invigorate and decompress…
According to research, when people do not regularly practice self-care, it can have negative effects on their physical and mental health. Physically, it can lead to exhaustion, weakened immune system, and increased risk of chronic illnesses such as heart disease and diabetes. Mentally, it can lead to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. It can also negatively impact relationships and work performance.
Furthermore, neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, which is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Burnout can manifest in feelings of cynicism, detachment, and reduced productivity. It can also lead to physical symptoms such as headaches and insomnia.
Therefore, it is important for individuals to regularly practice self-care in order to maintain their physical and mental well-being, as well as to prevent burnout.
Self-care can include activities such as getting enough sleep whenever possible, engaging in regular exercise, eating a balanced diet, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, spending 10-15 minutes each day in quiet doing something we love or that makes us laugh, looking at our to-do list as an ongoing task rather than a deadlined task, and setting boundaries to prevent overworking or overcommitting.
11. Diet Lacking Necessary Nutrients
A major piece to being ‘mom-tired’ seems to be not getting enough of the nutrients we need to feel and operate at our best.
According to research conducted by the American Pregnancy Association, up to 90 percent of women in the United States do not consume enough essential nutrients from their diet alone during pregnancy.
Furthermore, several studies have shown that a significant portion of the global population does not receive adequate nutrition from their daily diet.
Have you ever w0ndered when you at last?
Have you ever only eaten like an apple and a cookie all day?
Have you ever been so emotional that you overeat foods with little nutritional value, like chips and brownies?
Have you ever been so out of sorts that you barely ate all week?
Moms are busier than ever before.
Moms are stressed more than ever before, and that is affecting how and what they eat, which affects whether or not they are getting the necessary nutrients needed to be balanced and healthy.
Some moms may not really know what nutrients they need and what foods provide them with those nutrients.
The Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) of the United Nations estimates that approximately 2 billion people, or roughly 25% of the world’s population, suffer from some form of malnutrition.
This includes both undernutrition, where people do not consume enough calories or protein, and overnutrition, where people consume too many calories and not enough essential nutrients like vitamins and minerals. Malnutrition can lead to a variety of health problems, including stunted growth, weakened immune systems, and increased risk of chronic diseases.
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Final Words On Being 'Mom-Tired'
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
This motherhood thing, at any given stage, is a new normal that can feel as filled with joy and pride as much as it is filled with stress and exhaustion.
We must be aware of how we are feeling and how our environment is making us feel and act the way we do. Then, from there, we can start to make the tweaks needed to get closer to balance.
There is no perfect family, no perfect way to parent, no perfectly balanced mom frolicking around on a cloud of calm, sleep abundance, free from guilt and stress. No.
But, there CAN be more joy, despite the challenges. More YOU time, despite the responsibilities. More shared tasks, despite everyone’s busy-ness or gender, and there can be less bone-aching, mind-numbing mom-tiredness.
Yes, you must take the reigns once again.
Let out that scream, eye roll, pillow punch , or huff and puff, and get ready to observe your life and yourself a little closer so that you can better understand how to help yourself organize your time, your family, and yourself in a different way, so that you can be less mom-tired!
This might mean:
Communicating your feelings and needs with your partner like never before.
Changing how and when you do household tasks – maybe making peace with letting some things around the house be messier for longer, so that you can prioritize recharge time for yourself – maybe a bubble bath each night, reading a little bit of a book for 20 minutes, getting up early to have a cup of coffee out on the porch in the quiet…
Taking a look at your diet and including a variety of whole, fresh foods.
Examining your finances and seeking help from a friend who is great with their finances, or a professional, so you can get out of any cycle of financial problems you are currently in. There are so many different ways to do things, you may learn a lot and get some great ideas about tweaks you can make to get on a much easier financial path!
I am sending you all the support. From one ‘mom-tired’ mom to another. One who is always listening to how I feel and adjusting my environment to strike the best balance I can for all, so we can have a happier home life, more often – I am right there with you, cheering you on, advocating for you, and supporting you.
Xx Poppy
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