This post is all about how to prevent, handle, and stop toddler biting.
For educational purposes only. Not medical advice.
Common Questions: Toddler Biting
To stop a toddler from biting, the first thing you want to do is become aware of what happens just before the biting.
What happened to your toddler right before they bit?
What were they feeling when they bit?
Understanding the root cause, the trigger, of your child’s biting behavior will help you overcome it sooner.
Once you can pinpoint your toddlers triggers, you can keep an eye out for them and remove your child before the biting happens, as well as teach them new healthier habits, so they can become less impulsive, therefore less likely to bite.
Read the blog below to see all the strategies that will help you stop your toddler’s biting asap….
Biting is a common, and often impulsive – not calculated – behavior in 2 year olds.
Certain types of toddlers, such as those with a challenging temperament or a learning difference, may be more likely to bite.
Most toddlers grow out of biting by age 3, and there are many ways to manage and stop the behavior in the meantime.
Keep reading the blog below to learn how to minimize and stop toddler biting asap…
If you feel like you cannot handle your toddler’s behavior, reach out to your pediatrician.
Likewise, if you find that your toddler’s day is often disrupted by biting behavior, reach out.
Your pediatrician can evaluate your child to see if something more is going on and offer you support and resources to help you manage this stage.
Read the blog below for non-medical advice about how you can manage and minimize biting at home…
Typically the biting stage age is 1-3 years old, but can vary.
Read the blog below to learn more about all the reasons toddlers bite, what the research shows about toddler biting, and what you can do to stop it asap…
Toddler Biting 101: Expert Tips to Prevent & Handle Biting
Biting is a common, often impulsive – not calculated – behavior in toddlers that can understandably be a source of concern and feeling of uncertainty for parents and caregivers.
But, I’m here today to assure you that even if you have a ‘biter’, biting does not have to be a constant issue.
Promise.
How do I know?
As a parent of twins, one of whom was a ‘biter’, and the owner of a Montessori-inspired daycare and preschool who has always had 1-2 ‘biters’ in my playschool at any given time, I am able to share with you all you need to know about toddler biting, including first-hand accounts, research with evidence-based strategies, common mistakes and more.
In this blog post I will help you understand the reasons behind biting, share more about studies that have been done on the topic, and show you how to implement proven and effective strategies that will help curb this behavior, asap.
Biting doesn’t have to be a constant problem.
It isn’t for me (despite working with lots of biters).
And it doesn’t have to be for you either.
Pinky promise.
First, I want you to remember that biting is often a stage that happens between 1-3 years old.
Like other stages you’ve been through before, it will pass.
And it will pass much sooner if you use the strategies I lay out for you below…
So, to begin, I want you to get into ‘observer’ mode with your toddler until you pinpoint the instances when they bite.
What happened just before they bit?
What emotions did you notice them having?
Because once you are aware of the particular situations when biting tends to occur, you can use the strategies below to address and stop the biting for good…
When & Why Biting Happens
Biting can happen for various reasons and often occurs in specific situations. Here are some common scenarios and motivations:
- When Frustrated or Overwhelmed or Excited: Toddlers may bite when they can’t yet express their feelings verbally. Sometimes toddlers bite when happy and playful, which can confuse parents. Other times, toddlers bite when they are frustrated or overhelmed by emotion.
- If A Toddler Has A Challenging Temperament: toddlers with a more challenging temperament (busy, emotional, highly physical) tend to bite more. Every toddler I have worked with, with a challenging temperament has bit at some point. If you don’t know much about your toddler’s temperament, I highly encourage you to learn more about it, because doing so can bring you so much understanding, comfort, and know-how.
- If A Toddler Has A Learning Difference: It is possible that toddlers with a learning difference, such as sensory processing disorder, may bite more often due to challenges with communication. If you have any questions about learning differences or your child’s behavior, check with your pediatrician as they can help you identify learning differences and get you the necessary support.
- Learning Cause & Effect: Just as they may drop things on the floor to watch it fall, toddlers may bite to see the reaction (cause and effect).
- Seeking Attention: Toddlers may bite to get attention, even if it’s negative.
- Feeling Threatened or Defensive: In situations where they feel threatened or need to defend themselves, toddlers may impulsively bite.
- If A Toddler Is Overstimulated: Loud settings with lots of people and noisy toys with bright lights in a busy setting may trigger some toddlers to bite out of overstimulation. Irritability and temper tantrums usually coincide with overstimulation.
- Copying Behavior: If they observe other children biting, they may mimic the behavior.
- Expressing Power or Control: Biting can be a way to exert control or assert independence.
- During Teething: The discomfort of teething can lead toddlers to bite for relief.
- Exploring the World: Biting can be a way for toddlers to explore their environment, much like tasting.
Strategies To Stop Biting
First and foremost, you’ll want to watch your child like a hawk after they bite for the first time.
This will allow you to observe and become aware of what triggers them to bite.
Once you know this, you can follow through with a plan, using the strategies from below. to prevent and stop biting, and share that plan with your care team to minimize any occurences.
Keep in mind that it will take time and practice to help your child override their impulse to bite and create a new, healthier habit.
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- Understand the Cause
- Observe when and where the biting occurs to identify triggers – what happened just before the biting happened? What emotion was your toddler having?
- Tailor your response to the specific reason behind the biting.
- Once you know your toddler’s triggers, you can avoid certain situations or keep your eye out for signs they are about to bite, to minimize biting.
- Make Your Child Aware Of Triggers & Tell Them Biting Is Not Safe or Ok
- When you respond to the biting, be sure to bring awareness to your child about what happened just before they bit. “Your sister took your toy and you got upset, then you bit her.”, “You were having a tantrum about leaving the park, then you bit me.”
- Be clear that biting is never ok – “being mad is normal, biting is not ok. We never bite people.”
- Use Positive Reinforcement Daily
- Praise your toddler for using words or gentle touch instead of biting – “good job asking mom for help when you were mad. Mom will always help you.”
- Offer rewards for non-biting behavior to encourage positive actions. Telling their dad or grandma about how your toddler did a great job not biting and asking for help instead, can boost their self confidence and motivation IMMENSELY. Recognizing their efforts and achievements, and sharing them with others, can do a lot to motivate a toddler. You can also use a sticker chart so they can visualize their progress in a fun, colorful way.
- Teach Alternative Communication Until They Stop Biting
- Encourage your toddler to use words to express feelings. “When you are mad, you can say ‘I’m mad! You cannot bite.”, “When you are feeling overwhelmed, you can come tell mom or your teacher or go to the peace corner to feel better.”
- Provide simple phrases they can use to communicate emotions like frustration or anger. “Wait your turn”, “Don’t take my toy”, “I’m mad, I need help”…
- Provide Teething Relief (even if they aren’t teething, have something handy for them to bite, while practicing other ways to express themselves)
- Offer teething rings or cold washcloths to soothe gum discomfort.
- Ensure your toddler has appropriate items to bite on that won’t cause harm.
- Keep a teether handy so your toddler can safely bite on it, while they practice other safe ways to express their emotions.
- Model & Practice Appropriate Behavior Until Biting Stops
- Demonstrate how safe and healthy stress relief – like stepping away, talking about feelings, voo breathing, or box breathing.
- Tell your toddler that you will help them practice other things instead of biting. Know they have your support will comfort them, empower them, and give them confidence. “Mommy will help you practice, you can do it!”
- Show your toddler how to interact gently with others through play time, role playing, and in everyday situations with your partner.
- Role-play specific scenarios where you notice your toddler biting and show them how to respond without biting.
- Practice makes progress! Practicing will allow your toddler to build a new habit, and override those impulses more easily. Remember, it will take time.
- Comfort the victim first, then the biter. And wait for calm moments to teach your child or they most likely will be too overwhelmed by emotions to learn anything (likewise, if you are heated, you won’t say effective , productive things.)
- Set Clear Boundaries & Rules Around Biting (and enforce them regularly)
- Consistently enforce rules about not biting – “If you bite, you will not be able to play. We can ask for help when we are upset. Keep practicing, you got this!”
- Use firm but gentle language to explain why biting is not acceptable – “No one gets to bite you, and you don’t get to bite others. We can do something else besides biting. Let’s practice.”
- Offer Plenty of Uninterrupted 1:1 Attention Often
- Spend quality time, at least 15 minutes uninterrupted, with your toddler to reduce attention-seeking biting. Preferably doing something they want to do; where they are the ‘leader’. Studies show that the best time for quality connection with our children is first thing in the morning, right when we get home from work, and right before bed.
- Engage in activities your toddler loves that allow for positive interaction and bonding.
- Create A Toddler-Friendly Environment As Often As Possible
- Create as many ‘yes spaces’ as possible. Follow a Montessori-inspired set up at home if possible, as it is a very calming, age-appropriate environment that most toddlers thrive in, where emotional outbursts are very rare.
- If you know you have to run errands with your toddler, try and balance the day out with 20+ minutes of free play for them in between or after. Being with you on errands or going to appointments is much different than play time, and can often frustrate or overstimulate a toddler.
- The more comfortable your child is in their everyday environment, the less likely they are to have overwhelming emotions that trigger biting.
- Have A Designated Stress-Relief Space For Them To Go To
- Managing emotions is a key piece of stopping biting behavior, so having a safe, cozy, supportive space to cool down and recalibrate, for your toddler and you, can be extremely beneficial, not to mention speed up their learning new healthy habits. Try creating something like a Peace Corner in your home. It’s a powerful tool used in Montessori to help toddlers handle their emotions.
- In settings like daycare and school, there are a lot of children with a lot going on, and often less 1:1 attentions, so having a space like this in those settings can make a HUGE impact on resolving biting behaviors and emotional outbursts.
By understanding the reasons behind biting and implementing these strategies, parents and caregivers can help toddlers develop healthier ways to express themselves and interact with others.
- Understand the Cause
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- Check On The Person Who Was Bit, First
- This lets you asses how serious it is and help the child who is hurt
- Doing this also models kind behavior when someone is hurt, which your child will see and learn from.
- Remind & Remove Your Child
- Remind your child biting is never ok and that you have to remove them from where they are playing to keep everyone safe
- Talk To & Give A Second Chance
- Once you and your toddler have calmed down after the biting incident, talk to your child about what triggered their biting, remind them it is never ok, tell them what to do instead (use the tips from above), and let them try again if they feel ready. Of course, you will want to make sure the others involved feel comfortable and safe with your child returning to play.
- Watch Like A Hawk
- Be close to your child and watch them for any signs of biting to ensure no further biting happens. This may mean being their shadow for awhile.
- Completely Remove As Needed
- If you feel that despite your response and all the practice and reminders that you are doing with your child, they are still showing signs of biting, don’t hesitate to remove them from the situation and do something different.
- Remember, learning a new habit will take time and practice for your toddler, so leaving certain situations might be a part of the process while they do so.
Common Mistakes Parents Make When Handling Biting
Sometimes we unknowingly react or respond in ways that can make a situation worse or harder to overcome.
With toddler biting, here are a few common mistakes parents make when handling biting, that you want to avoid:
- Shaming – Instead of saying “What is wrong with you!?”, “Why are you doing this?!” “You are a bad boy!”, try to use uplifting, growth-mindset wording that will motivate your child to behave differently. Most likely, your toddler doesn’t understand why they bite or how to control their responses to their emotions yet. With your support and insights, they can get there faster, and will feel love and pride.
- Punishing – studies show that punishments actually do the opposite of what we intend. They can worsen the behavior and create resentment between the child and parent. Instead of punishing, use the tips above to create sturdy rules and consequences, along with solid teaching, that will help your child stop biting for good, while maintaining closeness and cooperation.
- Avoiding – Stay curious and seek support for your child because this is just one of many phases and struggles you will have to help them overcome. Instead of saying, “oh well, it’s just a phase, they’ll get over it when they’re older.”, use the strategies above to help them learn about their emotions and make good, healthy choices, so they can be a kinder, more resilient, and emotionally intelligent person as they grow.
Studies On Toddler Biting
I thought it would be helpful for you to see some evidence-based insights on toddler biting from a few notable studies…
Here are three studies worth reading:
1. The Role of Developmental Milestones in Biting Behavior
A study published in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology explored the correlation between developmental milestones and biting incidents in toddlers. The research found that biting often coincides with significant developmental changes such as increased mobility or the acquisition of language skills. These milestones can sometimes lead to frustration or anxiety, which may manifest as biting. The study suggests that supporting toddlers through these transitions with patience and understanding can help mitigate biting behavior.
2. Impact of Social Interaction on Biting
A study conducted by the Child Development Institute examined how social settings influence biting in toddlers. The research highlighted that toddlers who are frequently in group settings, such as daycare, have a higher incidence of biting compared to those who spend more time in one-on-one settings. The study indicated that teaching toddlers social skills and providing them with tools to express their needs and emotions can significantly reduce biting incidents in group environments.
3. Parental Responses and Biting Reduction
Research featured in the Early Childhood Education Journal focused on the effectiveness of different parental responses to biting. This study found that consistent and calm responses from parents, such as setting clear boundaries and reinforcing positive behavior, were more effective in reducing biting over time compared to punitive measures. The study emphasized the importance of understanding the underlying causes of biting and addressing them with empathy and support.
These studies collectively provide a deeper understanding of the factors contributing to toddler biting and offer evidence-based strategies for managing and reducing this behavior
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When To Seek Professional Help For Toddler Biting
If you ever feel like you cannot handle your toddler’s behaviors, reach out to your pediatrician.
Or, if the behavior regularly disrupts their day, say at school or daycare, reach out to your pediatrician.
There are so many resources available to us mothers, it’s just about asking and finding the best fit for our families.
There are evaluations they can do to see if something more is going on and/or help you with a course of action.
How are you feeling about your toddler’s biting after reading all of this?
I hope you see the light at the end of this toothy tunnel, because it is there.
I have faith that you and your toddler are on the right path to overcoming the biting very soon!
Xx Poppy
About Low Stress Motherhood
Let's harness the chaos so we can find your happy place in motherhood. I'm here to help moms find some solace and helpful resources that ease the load of motherhood and allow them to show up as the person they want to be, for themselves and their children.
