Why Your Toddler Is A Picky Eater And How You Can Help Change Their Eating Habits In 4 Weeks
There are 3 main causes of pickiness. And, there are some tweaks we can make to see change. Research shows that everything from social influence to personality can determine whether a toddler will be picky or not. It’s also important to know, that like all of us adults, toddlers will have preferences. That is normal and okay!
Let’s take a look at the 3 main reasons toddlers are picky, and see how we can help mold and influence future eating behaviors with the things we can control…
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1. Lack of exposure
When we expose our children to something regularly – the more they get used to and comfortable with it, over time – would you say that’s true with your toddler? Think – daycare or swinging or warming up to your friends…
Continued food exposure, in low-pressure settings, is what gets toddlers comfortable with new foods, sooner. This strategy is simple, effective and has lasting effects because it alters your approach and shapes their reactions.
Food exposure can exist at mealtimes or in non-mealtime settings such as grocery shopping, meal prepping, story time, show and tell, and gardening. When we find ways to integrate food education/food play/food-focused activities into our childrens’ lives, the more they‘ll understand and accept a variety of foods.
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Some more ‘food for thought’ – when you find ways to make something fun/playful/silly/engaging that your toddler otherwise finds unenjoyable, would you say they tolerate it better? Think – putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, leaving the park…
Most likely, you said ‘yes’, that if you find ways to make a task more enjoyable, your toddler tolerates it better. And this is why food-focused activities are so powerful. I share more on those at the end of this post.
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2. Food inconsistencies
It’s true that foods taste different and have a different mouthfeel when they are prepared differently, right? Barbecued chicken is quite different than chicken parmesan – yet they are both chicken.
Predictability, routine, monotony – these things are a toddler’s best friend, their safe place. Toddlers behave and respond best when they know what to expect.
Foods like chicken nuggets, are predictable for toddlers because they have the same texture every time they’re prepared. And toddlers like to be in the know, or do best when they know what to expect. Unexpected is often scary.
So, when we know that there will be food inconsistencies depending on how the food is prepared, it is a great opportunity for us to talk with our toddler about possible differences they will experience by using factual descriptive words and questions, so they learn this, are in the know, and are soon willing to try foods prepared differently.
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Some examples of using factual descriptive words and questions when talking about foods would be: “tonight’s chicken is different than your dino bites, it’s creamy with noodles!” or “does this part of the broccoli feel smooth or bumpy? Food can be different depending on the way it’s cooked. Sometimes we like it, sometimes we don’t like it. We try and see!”
Sound a little complex for toddlers? According to Jean Berko Gleason, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Boston University and author of The Development of Language, “Toddlers can clearly understand complex conversation long before most parents think they can.”
By as early as 14mos, children are masters at reading social cues – Parents.com
So, don’t hesitate to talk to your toddler about these things. Talking to them in this way will help to build their understanding over time, making them more open to different foods.
Want to know what to say and do that will help change your picky eater? Get a FREE instant download of my Transforming Picky Toddlers Cheat Sheet! We never spam.
Everything you need to start making real change today!
3. Social influence
Does Mommy say yuck or not like certain foods? This influences. Does daddy not eat it? This influences. Does my friend at daycare love it and gobble it up? This influences. Does grandma talk about how yummy or yucky that food is? This influences.
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We can model healthy food relationships for our children, serve a variety – whether we love the food or not – let them decide how they feel about foods, and have meaningful conversations about how different people will have different preferences, that are different from ours. That’s normal and ok.
For more picky eating support, I’ve created a free starter guide for frustrated parents with simple tips to make change asap. Click here to get a free instant download of The Transforming Picky Eaters How-To Guide Cheat Sheet.
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How to change their habits in 4 weeks
Try incorporating the following things. Add these into your routine, being consistent with them for 4 weeks, and watch your toddler change!
1. Expose your child to new and different foods through food-focused activities such as meal prep, food color/size sorting, story time with food props, each week. Simple games that include real foods will get them hands on with new foods in a low pressure setting. Handling foods comfortably, is one step closer to sniffing, licking, biting, tasting foods!
2. Give your child a heads up that you will be trying new foods together in a few days to see which ones you like and which you don’t like (yet, aka learning to like). Do this step before any new foods are served. Toddlers typically do much better when they are in the know about any changes. They like to be involved and are often more willing when they know what to expect.
3. Incorporate stories about foods at story time AND real food ‘props’. Choose books with pictures of real food, or look up foods on your phone and talk about food facts – where foods come from, how they grow, if they’re crunchy or soft, creamy or hard… Place some foods in a mixing bowl on the ground as you look up pictures or read about those foods. This again, is a super low-pressure exposure that will have your toddler curious and hands on with new foods they wouldn’t otherwise touch.
4. Make it feel like a game and teamwork. Keep track of all the new foods you try on a wall chart and try all the new foods together to see which you like and don’t like, and they like and don’t like. Choose stickers of characters they love (dogs, dinosaurs, elmo…) and let them decorate their wall chart. Tasting together can influence whether they try or not and they will look to you for a response to the new foods.
5. Food play. Many toddlers will turn their plates or move the foods off their plates and cringe with new foods. Give it time. This is not an overnight, one week journey – it is a long, slow path toward lasting change and a healthier relationship with a variety of foods. With that said, if your toddler won’t go in for a taste, that’s ok, prompt them to touch it somehow instead. For example, “whoa! Look at all your carrots! How many do you have? Let’s line them up like we do the trains and count them!” This again, gets them hands on with foods which means they are getting more comfortable and one step closer to bringing them to their mouths, in time.
5. Mention why. “Your body needs protein to lift the monster trucks and run fast!” “Red foods help your heart stay strong!” “Yellow foods help your eyes!” Putting meaning and purpose to things that you say will help your child further understand and respect what you say, rather than just receiving it as “because mom is making me”.
6. Breathe. This is a simple practice that will be a big help in calming your stress responses – deep breathing. Scientifically proven to help, this will calm any feelings of stress or frustration caused by your toddler’s picky eating behavior, allowing you to exercise more patience while they’re learning and changing. Also great practice for handling overwhelming toddler behaviors, in general
7. Serve a small portion of a food they love so they have to ask for more, and leave them to sit for an extra few minutes while you go get more. This is a great and simple dinner table strategy to use in conjunction with the other 6 things listed above. Say your toddler loves strawberries, serve them a small amount that will guarantee they ask you for more. Then, when they ask for more say, “sure! Here is some beef with protein for your muscles! Try this while I cut you more strawberries.” Place a thumbnail size of ground beef in front of them (so you don’t overwhelm them by a bigger size), then go get more strawberries in the kitchen. Take a minute or so longer so they have more time just waiting with their plate and the new food. Many toddlers will explore, grab at, even taste, while waiting because they’re killing time and it’s low pressure.
All of these things will get you off to a strong start with overcoming picky eating habits. Follow me on Instagram for more picky eater & toddler tips.
And for more picky eating support, click here to get a free instant download of The Transforming Picky Eaters How-To Guide Cheat Sheet. This guide will break down a simple 4 week plan that you can follow at home that will help your toddler start accepting more foods and become more adventurous.
Want to know what to say and do that will help change your picky eater? Get a FREE instant download of my Transforming Picky Toddlers Cheat Sheet! We never spam.
Everything you need to start making real change today!
