Funny (And Important!) Baby Advice For New Parents: What No One Tells You - Low Stress Motherhood

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Funny Baby Advice For New Parents: All The Things You’d Wish You Knew Beforehand

So, it’s time for you to join the rest of us this side of the parenting pond, huh?

All the pretty parties, new mom bump photo shoots, and showering of gifts are in the past, and you are heading straight toward the future of eternal messy mom buns, a recovering body, noisy nights, leaky boobs, baby coos, cuddles, and household chaos.

No more quiet home to rest in as needed, where the only bottles you’ve had have been of beer, wine, or lotion.

Hello noise and constant baby bottle washing and sanitizing.

No more quick runs to the store to grab something solo, where the only thing you take with you in the car is your keys, card, and sunglasses.

Hello five million items that need to be carried with you any time you head out the front door.

But listen, despite my attempts to be funny and foreboding here, rest assured that there is so much joy layered into the parenting journey, especially when we slow down, are kind to ourselves, and practice gratitude, that being a new parent is not just a challenging experience, but a quite magical one as well! Two truths!

So let’s dive into the funny (but also super helpful!) baby advice for new parents that you will wish you knew sooner!

Wait, why do I feel like this?! Am I going koo-koo crazy? Well, yes and no

Here’s some advice for new parents that their OB probably didn’t talk about…

You will be mentally and physically out of sorts for a bit.

Did you know that a woman’s brain changes during and after birth?

Yes.

Estrogen and progesterone levels rise dramatically during pregnancy, affecting mood, memory, and various cognitive functions.

After childbirth, there’s a sudden drop in these hormones.

Coupled with new responsibilities and often disrupted sleep, the drop in hormones can contribute to mood swings, anxiety, and, in more severe cases, postpartum depression.

Over time, as hormonal levels stabilize and mothers adapt to their new roles, many of the cognitive effects of pregnancy begin to wane, although some aspects of the emotional and social attunement to their child’s needs may remain enhanced for years to come.

So, knowing all of this beforehand can really help you keep confidence that this phase will pass.

You can stay calmer, more forgiving of yourself, and more patient with the natural process of the brain that often challenges moms most.

I remember worrying, feeling hopeless and helpless, and sad at times.

Although I never got diagnosed with anything, I knew my brain was different – I knew I felt different.

I read a lot.

I learned a lot.

And, because I did so, I was able to objectively look at some of the things my brain was thinking, if that makes sense.

I knew that this was a phase; a natural part of the parenting process, and that with time and self-care I would feel differently.

Challenging the thoughts my brain has has been one of the best things I have started doing in motherhood.

If you are ever feeling like you cannot manage something, know that there is a ton of support available to you, especially today.

Seek out a professional to support you.

I spent a year with a life coach and it changed my life so much, for the better.

Most of my close friends have therapists and they have been helped tremendously by them as well.

There are so many options and openness when it comes to postpartum today, which is such a wonderful thing for new parents.

Get support and give your brain the time it needs to re-adjust.

Forcing yourself to get some darn sleep might need to happen

This is advice for new parents that usually goes something like, “sleep when the baby sleeps.”

Instead of laugh and eye roll about it, let’s really try for it, ok?

It’s a matter of mental health.

And truthfully, you might have to force yourself a bit because lots of things will be on your mind and plate, but it’s SO important and here’s part of why….

Sleep deprivation takes a serious toll on the brain.

It can cause or worsen your mental wellness status.

And although it is a normal part of parenting, especially in the first few months, trying to force in as much sleep as possible can really help your mental health including, anxiety, depression, emotional regulation, decision-making, behavior and problem-solving.

Yes, sleeping can help tame the inner chaos.

So, try to push for it.

In order to make more sleep happen, you may need to agree with your partner that the house will be messier than normal for awhile.

You may need to recruit help to run errands, tidy up, or cook meals.

You may need to reschedule appointments.

You may need to have groceries delivered.

You might want to start telling yourself now that postpartum is a time for slow moments of connection and recovery, and sleeping is a priority.

Maybe you have one day a week you do a bunch of tasks, and the rest of the week you are prioritizing rest, baby care, and small tasks like bottle washing and one load of laundry.

When it comes to tasks overall, try and prioritize them from ‘must dos’ to ‘it can waits’, and be sure to have sleep on the list.

You want as healthy of a mental state as you can have for yourself, your baby, and your relationship with your partner.

Sleeping is NOT weak, lazy, or bad. It is a required part of the recovery process that will give you the best results.

Words of wisdom: Be sure to take time for fresh air and movement alongside sleep, as this combination can boost mental wellness. Sleep plus nature and movement is a magical remedy for many things, including postpartum struggles!

Apologize to your partner NOW (and ask them for the same) because you WILL say out-of-whack things when you’re dead exhausted

Here is some advice for new parents that you just don’t ever hear anyone talk about…

You will say things to one another that you normally wouldn’t say.

There was a quote I heard when I was postpartum that really stood out to me, and it went like this – “agree that the things you say to one another when you are extremely exhausted don’t count.”

I was like, whoa. Love that.

My husband and I had welcomed twins and I was still extremely swollen with carpal tunnel in both wrists, arthritis in both my feet, and super weak and in pain from the C-section.

I felt like a bed-ridden, crippled 90 year old woman who was tasked to care for these precious, needy little babies. Oh, and my milk supply was low.

My husband was feeling the pressure, scared and worried, and adjusting to all the needs of the babies, too.

We were exhausted and overwhelmed by it all.

So, hearing this quote really reassured me that we really aren’t ourselves under this immense amount of change and stress. And what we say doesn’t really need to count.

It made me more aware, also.

I was aware of what I would say more often.

I would repair when I noticed I said something I didn’t like after saying it.

My husband would, too.

We became a better team, less steered by our sheer exhaustion and emotions.

We took breathers and focused on de-stressing more.

It was so helpful hearing this quote during postpartum.

I am a huge advocate of sharing this quote with parents BEFORE they give birth!

Shelve your stinkin’ ego and focus on your sanity instead

This piece of advice for new parents is all about a mindset focus…

Focus on your sanity, not your ego.

Ask for help and support if that is going to help you get more balance.

Ask for what you feel you need in the moment.

Avoid trying to be ‘perfect’ (it doesn’t exist).

Avoid shaming yourself with ‘I should be able to handle xyz’.

Be honest and get support from people you trust.

Know that being a parent, especially a new one, is naturally a hard, sensitive time for all parents.

Don’t bottle things up. Don’t deny things. Don’t hide things.

At least be honest with yourself so you can help yourself feel better, whether it be through therapy, talking to a trusted friend, reading up on this stage of parenting, or practicing self-help.

There is no ‘super’ mom who hasn’t struggled and needed support.

You are not weak (well, you physically are and that is natural!)

You are capable!

Seeking answers and support is a super power IMO. It certainly can give you ‘super powers’!

Truth is, the more we talk about our thoughts and struggles, the more free we feel from them.

When we let our ego go, and let others we trust help, the more balance we can have.

And having balance is far more helpful and healthy than making everything appear ok and secretly struggling and spiraling.

Words of wisdom: When opening up to others, tell them what you are looking for – someone to listen and hug you or someone to share advice.

Sometimes all we want is a listening ear or validation, not advice. Other times, we want advice.

They will know what you need and you will feel better be heard and having your emotional needs understood.

Have random construction site sounds go off through the night to prepare you for consistent baby’s night cries

A ridiculous joke of advice for new parents that I fully stand behind….

I’d always joke with friends that this was seriously the best way to prepare for the nightly interruptions of a baby crying each night.

Constructions noises are shocking and can be frustrating to hear too, when you are dead exhausted – just like the cries of a baby when all your body is screaming for is some.more.sleep.for.the.love.of.god.please.

I’m not sure if anyone has actually practiced with these sounds to condition themselves, but I still make the comparison and it always makes an expectant parent laugh and grimace.

Extra patience is certainly needed when you are waking every few hours with your new baby.

Remember, their sleep patterns will continue to change, rapidly. Even if it doesn’t feel rapid. But after a month, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 16 months, 2 years, 2.5 years, 3 years, 4 years, lots of changes can happen.

Some parents take shifts through the night in the newborn phase, while others alternate nights.

Try different approaches out and find a routine that works best for your family and make tweaks as needed. With a Montessori bedtime, everything has a place and the child can access it easily.

Creating order is key in Montessori, and aids in the child’s ability to be independent and calm.

You can create order in 2 ways:

by having a designated place for each item used during the bedtime routine

by following the same process of actions each night. Ie: dinner, family play, wind down, prep space, bathe, brush, read, rest.

By doing this, your child is comforted because they know what to expect plus, they know where things are so they can exercise independence and control and be an active participant in their bedtime routine process.

For example, if your child uses a toothbrush every bedtime, be sure that they can reach it with a step stool.

And, that they reach the faucet to wet it and begin brushing.

Depending on their age, you may opt to help with the toothpaste.

Pay attention to what your child is interested or eager to do, and be sure to create independence around those things, especially.

For example, if your child loves to turn off their own light and turn on their sound machine, be sure they have a step stool to their light switch and that their sound machine is within reach so that they can do those things without a fuss, fight, or a mess.

Include and repeat actions and activities that your child loves, into your bedtime routine.

In summation, emphasizing order, combined with a peaceful and positive tone, can give your child a road map to follow and a process they are an active participant in, to look forward to at bedtime.

Be prepared for baby to act like a non-responsive-to-your-soothing-attempts robot

This piece of advice is important for new parents who’ve never interacted with a newborn to understand…

So, here’s the thing – it isn’t always the case (that baby doesn’t respond to soothing efforts), but it is true for many.

And many of those parents would describe how much of a struggle it can be.

They’d describe how they went through all the list of possible things – diaper change, feeding, rocking, burping, comforting… and still baby would just cry and fuss all the time.

In the beginning, for those first few months, it may seem like your baby is just glazed over and inconsolable.

This may be due to things like:

Colic

Temperament

Stress or overstimulation

What I want you to know, and hold out hope for, is that this behavior is not an indication of how they will always respond.

In my experience, as a daycare and preschool owner and mom of twins, is that by 6 months of age and beyond, most babies are more responsive to comfort and soothing efforts, especially if delivered calmly.

As the child ages, you are able to sing, talk, and discuss things with them to soothe and comfort them.

They make more eye contact and respond after those first 3 months.

If ever you feel like your baby’s behavior is too much for you to handle, reach out to your pediatrician for support.

Colic can be very rough on families, as many babies with colic can’t or don’t want to be held or soothed in traditional ways.

Likewise, temperament can be a challenge too, and often remains consistent as a child grows.

For instance, a baby who struggles to sleep and fusses more than his or her sibling may have a

difficult temperament and grow into a toddler who is more emotional and aggressive.

As I faced new challenges as a caregiver, I found it extremely helpful, reassuring, empowering, and educational to read as much as I could about the challenges I was facing at the time.

I highly encourage you to do the same.

Yes, I know it is another responsibility on your plate, but learning will give you more power, control, and empathy, and relieve A LOT of that stress that is weighing you down.

Prioritize your self care as if it were one of the top orders given to you by your doctor

Ok, this advice for new parents needs to be a top priority, just like sleep…

Prioritize your mind and body self care.

You are your best and strongest advocate.

Know that when baby comes things will be out of whack.

Just like baby needs special care and support, so will you.

Think of how you will structure your time to take care of yourself – regular walks in the sun? Watercolor painting? Guided meditation podcasts? Dancing it out Grey’s Anatomy style? No? Just me? Haha.

But seriously, prioritize your self care by regularly asking yourself:

what to do I need?

what will make this easier for me/my family?

what am I feeling?

why might I be feeling this?

what can I do to feel better?

how can I help myself?

what can I tweak to feel more like myself?

what are others doing when they’re feeling like this?

what support do I have available to me?

why do I feel like this? Is there evidence/studies about this?

what more can I learn about why I feel like this?

Truth is, as you walk through your parenting journey, one challenge will fade and another will present itself.

You will forever be problem-solving, adjusting, learning, and implementing things to see what works best for you and your family.

Focus on keeping as much balance as possible and you will find the best solutions sans guilt.

Words of wisdom: Whenever approaching a difficult situation, I like to ask myself this question, first – “what is my ultimate goal here?” (ie: to have a happy connected family, to get more cooperation from my partner, to have better communication with my child, to have more balance in my life…)

Then, I can more clearly think through the steps that will get me to that goal.

Don’t feel silly, recite these affirmations in the mirror like you stinkin’ mean it when you are feeling ‘bleh’

This piece of advice for new parents can make all the difference in how they feel about themselves day in and day out….

Use affirmations.

Science actually says that affirmations can help shift your mindset and help you achieve your goals so let’s do this thing mama!

Repeat after me:

This is hard

I can do this

I am learning as I go

I am doing a wonderful job

My brain is not itself right now and that is normal

I accept that I am not perfect

I love my baby

I love myself

I grow and improve everyday

I am giving my body the time and rest it needs to recover

I am enough

I believe in myself

I am capable of overcoming challenges

I am resilient

I am confident

I am worthy

I can control my own happiness

I am grateful

I give myself permission to feel and heal

Words of wisdom: Modeling behavior is a powerful way to teach our children healthy coping habits! Pass this habit on to your children. It’s amazing what affirmations can do for a young child who is just learning to take turns, control emotions, read, and ride a bike. “I am learning! I can do hard things! I get better with practice!”

Challenge that brain of yours for goodness sake because not everything it thinks is true (at all!)

Here is another bit of advice for new parents that you just don’t hear your average parent or doctor talking about enough!!

The thoughts your brain has are not always true, so challenge them.

When you have a thought, ask yourself – ‘Is that thought true? Am I a terrible mom? What evidence is there? Or is that untrue?’

Say out loud – ‘it’s untrue.’

Say why it’s untrue – ‘I am a great mom who is having a hard time. I am learning and growing, just like every other mom out there.’

Next.

Keep that brain of yours in check and keep checking in with yourself to see what you need, and asking for what you need from others/making tweaks to your routine as needed.

The only constant is change, right?

Grip fast and tight onto hope like a newborn baby does hair – this wild newborn phase will pass and your brain and body will feel different

This is important advice for new parents, especially those who are struggling or who are first time parents….

This particularly challenging mental and physical phase will pass.

I remember a friend saying recently, “I just woke up one day and felt completely different.”

She was right at the 3 month mark.

I had felt that myself, years ago, closer to when my twins turned 2.

Yeah, it took me a longer time.

And for some other moms that will be the case, too.

Maybe it’s because I had twins? Not sure.

Either way, I remember being aware that my brain was different and I held on to hope.

I read about the postpartum phase and beyond.

I learned about my thoughts and behaviors.

I moved my body in ways that felt good – rollerblading, walking, yoga.

I talked with other twin moms.

I kept my faith and went through the motions.

My point here is, no matter the timeline, this phase will pass.

And griping tight to the hope, nay confidence, that you will feel and be different (just like you have felt ad been different since getting pregnant) will happen again.

You will grow, breakthrough, thrive, and move on.

And always remember to seek support if you feel like things are too much for you.

Don’t believe the lies you see or hear, there is no perfect parent

This is definitely solid advice for new parents that will help them feel better about themselves and find more joy in their own parenting journey…

Listen lady, don’t try and uphold any idea portrayed on tv, social media, or an expectation imposed by your in-laws.

Don’t compare yourself, ok?

You and your journey are yours.

Life is messy.

Perfectly imperfect.

Moments aren’t always instagram-worthy.

There is no perfect, all-knowing parent out there, ever.

We all have struggles, heartache, and need support for various things in our lives.

If you let your brain’s thoughts keep you down because of pictures you see of that perfectly-posed family or that oh-so-cool-candid-pics family, you will be allowing your mind to keep you down based on mere snippets of someone else’s life.

Focus instead on what kind of home you want to have with your family – how does it feel? what things are you excited to share with your child?

Focus on your tiny moments of joy in between the chaos; relish in them.

Draw inspiration, maybe. But, never compare and wallow.

And, always remember, you are not meant to know it all and have it all figured out.

No one does.

Make peace with more mess and make a plan to re-organize and structure your life as you go (yay more responsibility)

Here is another piece of advice for new parents that you don’t hear anyone talking about!

Your mental wellness needs you and your partner to make peace with all the new mess in your home, and adjust your routine a bit.

Yep. We need to take on this responsibility of addressing it, mom and dad!

I am telling you, you will feel SO much better and calmer if you take on and complete this task as a couple.

About 2 months in with our twins, we noticed how much messier our home was.

It felt strange for sure, and overwhelming at times.

While I didn’t love it, I was well aware that I could not do it all.

I was in lots of pain, recovering, needed much more rest, was breastfeeding 2 newborns, had carpal tunnel and arthritis limitations…

Something had to give.

So, I thought about it for a bit and decided that what we needed for a while was a mindset shift, and some added help from family.

We weren’t our normal selves, so our house wouldn’t be its normal self.

We had to be okay with that, and know that this phase will pass and things will level out once again.

So, we made peace with more mess by using affirmations like this:

“It is normal and okay that our house is messier right now”

“It is most important that I nurse, rest and recover right now”

“I can do one task a day”

“It is okay to start one task and finish it tomorrow” (ie: wash the laundry today and fold tomorrow)

We helped ourselves be okay with tasks being ‘ongoing’ rather that ‘completed’.

It was uncomfortable but helpful.

And them the phase passed.

I was no longer in so much pain, our routine was more predictable, so things were getting done more normally.

Hooray.

It was nice that we were more patient and tolerant during that passing phase, rather than stressed and angry about it, you know?

Oh, just fyi, your house will most likely be a different kind of ‘clean’ until your kids move out! Haha.

Things get easier, kinda. Mostly, things just change and you will re-adjust as you go. But the presence of joy remains and often grows

This is some really real advice for new parents that I want you to know…

Things get easier, kinda. They mostly just keep changing, we adjust, and find routine and joy in the different phases.

Right now I am working with a family at my playschool whose son’s doctor believes he has ADHD.

A few friends of mine have just gone through their first, second, or third miscarriage.

Another friend’s oldest is entering high school, while their youngest is still in elementary, and she said she still has just as many sleepless nights as the newborn phase.

My point here is, when you hear that “things get easier”, it doesn’t necessarily mean challenges stop presenting themselves, it moreso means that parents adapt and find ways to cope.

The shock factor has past and routine has set in that we feel more comfortable in.

It’s for this reason that I make it a point to check in with myself, be kind with myself, and seek support as needed.

Because, consciously adapting and finding healthy ways to cope can make all the difference for us and our children!

All of us parents are on our own bumpy road of parenting, trying to read the map that at times feels like it is written in a foreign language.

What Advice Would You Give A New Parent?

The advice I would give to a new parent would definitely be all of the above, maybe minus the jokes depending on their sense of humor.

Being prepared for their brain and thoughts and feelings to change is a biggie.

Having that awareness is game-changing.

Also, leaning into the slower pace of life during the first few months and knowing that it’s ok, normal, and required.

Having a strong, resilient, and confident mindset with thoughts like, “this is a hard time in parenting for all parents, my mind and body will change again soon, I can do hard things and go slowly”, can do wonders for one’s mental health.

Affirmations are where it’s at. Food for the aching soul.

And I know many people feel silly and doubt their effects, but science proves they are a powerful when added to a wellness routine.

Checking in with one’s self is another lesser talked about, but oh-so-important thing to do.

It allows us to examine ourselves and our situations, express ourselves more clearly and helps us make changes in our lives for the better.

All of the things I have listed above are pieces of advice for new parents that I believe would greatly help them in the early months and even years.

What Advice To Give At A Baby Shower?

The advice you can give at a baby shower will vary.

Does the person want advice?

If you are close to the person, they may seek your advice.

Some baby showers have an ‘advice’ game or bowl where other parents are asked to give advice.

You could also ask if they’d like to hear your advice.

If the expectant parents do want your advice, I’d recommend you think about something you wish you would have heard or known before having your child/children, and share that wisdom with them.

Otherwise, use the list above for inspiration!

What Is The Best Advice A Parent Can Give A Child?

There is so much amazing advice and words of wisdom a parent can share with their child.

And, advice will vary depending on the age of the child.

For this example, since most of my readers are newer parents, often of babies to preschoolers, I will share my favorite advice for the toddler group.

It’s so hard to narrow it down to one piece of advice!

Some of my favorite advice a parent can give a child in the toddler years has to do with self-awareness.

So much goodness, resilience, inner peace, and overall wellness can come from being in tune with one’s emotions from the start!

This advice might sound like:

“Say what you feel and what you need.

How we feel drives our actions. Like a little car!

So, sometimes when we aren’t feeling like ourselves, we behave differently or hurt others, and need to check in with how we are feeling and think about why.

Like this, I am feeling sad because brother doesn’t want to play with me.

Then, we can find safe ways to help ourselves feel better and get back to play!

Like this, I want to play too, how can I play with you brother?” or “Mom, can you help me, I am sad brother doesn’t want to play with me.”

I know it seems wordy, but I’ve used it for years and when taught in small chunks and repeated and practiced together throughout the day each week, you can absolutely witness the changes in a young child!

I have seen it for almost a decade here at my playschool and it is a tear-jerker moment when you see these emotional young humans exercising such self-awareness and self-soothing!!

Parents are in awe of their child as well.

It is such a powerful tool to give young children, one they crave!