This post is all about the best ways to help a child who is terrified of the dentist handle and overcome their fears so they can have a calmer, more positive experience.
For educational purposes only. Not medical advice.
13 Best Ways To Help A Child Who Is Terrified Of The Dentist
If you have a child who freaks out at the dentist, this post is for you.
I’ll show you the best ways to help a child who is terrified of the dentist.
As a mom of twin preschoolers who literally think that going to the dentist is a fun-filled outing, and the owner of a Montessori-inspired playschool, who’s in the trenches handling all the emotions and tough situations with young children, like potty training, I have loads of toddler-calming tips to share with you!
Follow these steps to have a better, calmer, dentist experience with your child…
1. Choose a Passionate, Quality Pediatric Dentist
You want someone who is trained in and understands children.
Someone who is kind a patient that can help ease you and your child’s nerves and dental anxiety.
You want bright colors, a supportive staff, toys, movies in the background- all these types of supports that make going to the dentist as a child far more comfortable.
Preview your potential providers websites, read reviews from fellow parents, and maybe even take a tour of the office before making your decision on where you’d like to take your child.
2.Talk About The Dentist At Story Time 2-7 Days Beforehand
Don’t say anything about your child going to the dentist just yet.
First, talk or read a book about the dentist at story time.
Get their attention, interest, and plant the seed in a positive, laid back light.
No room for fears here!
Sometimes, with young children. we don’t know when or how to say things, so books can be a HUGE help.
3. Avoid Talking About Anything Scary & Re-frame Existing Fear
Don’t plant seeds of fear.
And for existing fear, we need to re-frame how they see the dentist.
To do this, use a calm, matter-of-fact voice, and share facts and positives about the dentist, only.
Things like this are perfect:
- “The dentist has many shiny tools they use to check your teeth.”
- “The dentist helps keep your mouth healthy so you can eat all your favorite yummy foods!”
- “The dentist uses a suuuuper tiny mirror to see in the back of your mouth! Cool, huh?!”
Most likely, your child’s first visits to the dentist will be a simple and quick clean and some xray pictures.
If you find yourself needing a procedure, say for cavities, that is more invasive, reach out to your dentist for guidance about how to talk to your child about what to expect.
4. Take Turns Role Playing Being A Dentist/Patient
Once you’ve read a book or two about going to the dentist, it’s time to role play it out!
Play is the work of the child, as Maria Montessori says, and nothing gets young children more comfortable with something new than incorporating it into play.
Lean back in a chair, put a bib on, and let your child check your teeth and scrub them with a toothbrush.
Have them take a turn being the patient, wearing glasses and a bib, and getting their teeth brushed.
High five and congratulate each other for doing great and having clean teeth.
Use language that reinforces how simple and easy it all is.
Your tone and reassurance can act as medicine for your child’s dental anxiety.
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5. Make It About Being ‘Like Mommy And Daddy’
Many young children want to do things just like mommy and daddy.
Both of my 4 year olds LOVE going to the dentist. On our last visit, one of my children could not wait to get her mouth guard “just like daddy wears”.
If your child is like this, hype up the dentist in that way.
You might say:
- “You’ll get to sit back in the big dentist chair, just like mommy does at her dentist!”
- “You’ll get to try on the big blue vest like daddy wears at his dentist!”
Saying things like this can turn your child’s fear into anticipation and excitement!
6. Watch positive youtube videos about A child’s first dentist visit
I personally love those “what to expect” videos geared toward prepping young children for their ‘firsts’.
Banish their fears by showing them a happy child enjoying their visit to the dentist.
They can see the moving chairs, get introduced to a new face (aka the dentist who is otherwise a stranger), see some of the instruments they will use, and overall familiarize themselves with what to expect.
My twins are always very responsive to these types of videos and will later talk about what they saw or learned with their friends or other family members.
The more positive exposure you can give your child to what a dentist visit is all about, the more likely you are to have a calm, comfortable child on the day of.
Read This Next:
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7. Talk About feelings, But Vaguely
For addressing potential feelings, it’s more about a quick mention that you will be there with them.
No big, long conversations about fear or sadness.
Save that for when your child shows or tells you they are afraid or sad.
Again, don’t be the one to plant that seed.
So, you might say:
“And at the dentist, I will be right there with you if you need a hug or for me to hold your hand.”
Super simple.
Now, if your child already freaks out about the dentist, you can focus on asking them what the scary part is and what will make them feel better.
Let them talk, hug them, tell them you are there for them.
Then, reframe their fears by reading positive books, role playing, and watching positive youtube videos about the dentist, as I mentioned in the steps above.
8. Hype Up a Special Treat After They See The Dentist
My twins love to take a quarter and stop by one of those old crank machines and get a surprise toy.
Other children love to stop for their favorite meal or goodie, like froyo.
Let your child choose, and give them something to look forward to after the dentist!
For a scared child, this will give them something besides fear to focus on.
9. Show Them Pictures Of The Dentist’s Office
Showing your child exactly what the dentist’s office looks like can take the mystery away, and therefore fear away, too.
Most likely all the bright colors, toys, and pictures of other kids will get them feeling comfortable, even excited!
They’ll know what the chairs look like, and what the tools look like.
They’ll be in the know and feel better!
10. Let Them Bring A lovey For Comfort
Having something to hold for comfort can make a lot of scared or nervous young children feel safer and calmer, especially in new situations.
Let your child bring their favorite stuffy along for the ride, too!
(Maybe it’s a doll they have role played dentist with at home before the visit? Hint hint…)
11. Explain The Rules At The Dentist’s Office
In the car on the way to anything new or that we haven’t done for a while, I like to remind my children about the rules of where we are going.
I want it to be front of their mind.
For the rules of the dentist visit, you could say to your child:
“At the dentist office, it’s important that we listen for your name and follow the instructions of the dentist so we can be safe and quick.”
Set the tone of what’s expected and what behavior needs to happen.
Setting the boundaries in this way can help a scared child feel secure and less anxious or out of control.
12. Ask To Drop By Before Or For The Dentist To Chat With Your Child On The Phone
For a terrified child, seeing the space first can be a big help.
Some dentists, upon request, will even do a quick call before your child’s visit to introduce themselves and talk about what will happen with they visit.
This can be reassuring for a scared child, and often times they feel closer to their dentist and are excited to meet them!
13. Choose The Right Time Of Day
Does your child still nap?
When do they usually eat?
Are they more emotional in the morning?
When you’re making an appointment for your child’s dental visit, especially if they are scared of the dentist, choose a time of day that doesn’t disrupt things like eating and sleep, so they can be in their best mood and mindset.
Why Are Children Afraid Of The Dentist?
According to the National Library of Medicine, about 16% of children fear the dentist.
There can be several reasons why a child fears the dentist including past experiences that were painful or traumatic, and fear of the unknown.
Also, how peers and the adults in a child’s life talks about the dentist, can affect their feelings about the dentist.
By using the steps above, I am confident that you will be able to frame, or re-frame, how your child views, and therefore experiences, the dentist.
As I mentioned earlier, don’t hesitate to reach out to your dentist with specific questions as they are professionals who deal with all types of children, and their fears, each day all day.
And if you don’t feel supported or heard, I encourage you to switch dentists if you can!
About Low Stress Motherhood
Let's harness the chaos so we can find your happy place in motherhood. I'm here to help moms find some solace and helpful resources that ease the load of motherhood and allow them to show up as the person they want to be, for themselves and their children.
