this article may contain affiliate links
These 5 Things Can Make Potty Training Less Stressful
how to make potty training less stressful
It’s no secret that potty training is one of the most dreaded tasks for parents of toddlers.
By the time potty training comes around, parents have had a fair taste of all the flavors of toddlerhood and boy are they spicy, surprising and sometimes straight up, bitter!
Parenting a toddler demands so much skill and patience, because we are dealing with irrational human brains, very different from our adult brains.
And, because day to day can already feel like a chaotic rollercoaster, the idea of working side by side with our toddler ‘training’ them to do a task they most likely don’t want to, often and everyday, just sounds impossible!
But, rest assured, it is not impossible.
Your toddler WILL use the toilet without you. And you are a wonderful parent whether they do it in a day, 10 days or 2 months.
I’ve potty trained over 20 toddlers, including my own twins, ages ranging from 19 months to 3.5+ years old, here at my Montessori-inspired daycare & preschool, and I am here to share with you how to make potty training less stressful…
Read this next:
When To Start Potty Training Your Toddler (so it’s MUCH easier for all!)
How Often Should I Remind My Toddler To Sit On The Potty?
EVERYTHING You Need To Prepare Before You Start Potty Training That Will Make It Easier
5 things that will make potty training easier
1. setting up ‘potty stations’ around the house, that you will go to with them each time, until they start to self-initiate
You can slowly inch your way to the actual bathroom, while still letting your little one play freely around the house. No need to worry about running across the dining room and living room to get to the bathroom, which will mostly likely mean an accident will happen, especially if your toddler is unable to hold or know how to hold their pee or poop (and many cannot when just starting out).
If you have a few potties set up where you typically play in the house, your toddler’s chances of making it to the potty in time is greater, you are less stressed about ‘making it to the bathroom in time’ and therefore, all is calmer.
Self-initiated sitting is unlikely when your toddler begins potty training, as many toddlers don’t have body urge awareness yet. You can see how to recognize your toddler’s potty cues and teach them how to recognize them too, here: Indicators Your Toddler Is About To Pee Or Poop – Teaching Urge Awareness.
Despite the benefits of setting up various ‘potty stations’, it is not my first choice. #2 below, is my first choice when potty training, and I explain why. You can determine which best suits your life. Both will make potty training less stressful.
2. setting up a temporary play area near the bathroom, with toys that interest and excite them (I prefer this over potty stations, unless it’s bed or nap time)
This is a key piece of my potty training method, The Peaceful Potty Training Method.
Rearranging some toys and making a cool and inviting setup near the bathroom we will be using, keeps toddlers close to where they need to go and sit all day, which means they are less likely to have accidents and frustrations from accidents. It makes it easier on them to see successes and it makes it easier on us to help them.
We stay close to the bathroom for 1-3 days and slowly transition back to playing throughout the house/outside etc.
Another main reason I prefer this over ‘potty stations’ is, there is less confusion for the toddler. From the beginning, they are learning the one spot they can go to to pee and poop and wash their hands. With ‘potty stations’ toddlers have to adapt to the potty being moved and for some, this can confuse them and prolong potty training.
Additionally, some never really get comfortable with the actual bathroom during potty training and fear it. Then, that is another hurdle parents have to face versus facing it all at once.
And finally, it keeps us focused on the goal of building this new habit.
You know your child. If they can easily adapt and will not be confused or frustrated by a moving potty and don’t show any signs of fear toward the bathroom, ‘potty stations’ may work well for you. You may just want to keep a toddler-friendly sanitizer at the station for their hands!
For a list of supplies I use for low stress potty training, you can go here. One item I may have forgotten to add to the list is, medical gloves for handling poop accidents (especially if loose or smeared in underwear)! Very helpful.
check out these helpful potty training supplies:
For toddlers who may be confused by a moving potty, opt for creating a temporary play space near the bathroom instead and keep rotating toys and activities as needed to keep excitement and interest.
They don’t need to only stay in this temporary play area, but as much as possible is best. At least for the first 3 days OR when they are showing urge awareness and self-initiation.
Oh, and make a temporary rule to stay off any rugs or carpets during potty training too. Far less cleanup for you!
3. preparing yourself and your space for big feelings, so you are in the mindset to calm and comfort your toddler and have tools ready that help you do so
A lot of parents who come to me on Instagram for potty training advice, ask whether or not their toddler is ready because they constantly say ‘no’ or show no interest in the potty.
To this I say – it’s important that we understand that toddlers say no to many things, especially things that take them away from their fun they are already having – are you ready to go? Do you want to get your shoes on? Let’s go brush our teeth…
So, in order to better determine if your toddler is in fact ready to start potty training, you want to ensure you have these 3 main signs of readiness.
Once you’ve determined that you and your toddler are ready to begin, you will want to prepare for the emotionally and mentally taxing task ahead.
Some toddlers rip their diapers off and run to the potty on their own, never looking back. But for most, this is not the case.
In most cases, toddler have LOTS of feelings about potty training. They don’t want to sit because it’s taking them away from their puzzle (pro tip – take the puzzle with you!), it’s scary for them, they’re uncomfortable and start to cry, they have fomo and are getting frustrated at you reminding them what to do all the time…
With all the feelings flying around, you will need to validate those feelings and help them get back to a place of calm so they can gently persevere. This will make potty training less stressful.
One of the best ways I’ve found for helping toddlers calm down is by using a peace corner. This is a cozy, designated space filled with cuddly teddies they love, destressing toys like pin art or gel tubes, maybe a mirror and books about how to calm our bodies, like Little Monkey Calms Down (one of my favorites for 2-3 year olds).
Every toddler I’ve worked with, including my own twins, has found much comfort and solace in the peace corner (we actually have 2 since we can have up to 6 toddlers at any given time!)
When using the peace corner properly, we start out by going together, breathing, hugging, sitting, chatting and then redirecting to something in the peace corner. Soon, they are seeking the space out for themselves to self-soothe. Powerful and more peaceful for handling big feelings.
You can see how to best set up and use a peace corner, here: How To Use A Peace Corner When Potty Training Your Emotional Toddler
Check out these soothing peace corner supplies:
want to make potty training less stressful?
Check out my peaceful potty training ebook – calmer potty training in 10 days
4. taking scheduled potty breaks together, based off of their potty cues and current habits, so they have more success early on
Ok, you’re about to start potty training! Now you’re wondering, well, “how often do I remind my toddler to go potty?”
The answer to this questions varies, family to family. You can click the link above to see my in-depth article about the topic.
But overall, the best way to know when your toddler needs to be reminded to use the potty is by watching them closely for the first 1-3 days, specifically recognizing their potty cues and when they typically pee or poop.
Most likely, you will find a pattern, and from there you can create a more manageable, more successful ‘potty break’ schedule for your toddler.
‘Potty breaks’are done together – which means you go with them each time and wait while they sit. This can seem daunting but most toddlers need our presence and added support when just starting to potty train.
You will work off of this schedule until they begin to self-initiate going to the potty. Self-initiatiion may take them 2, 7, 10 days. You can help things along by making them aware of their bodies urges, by teaching them some urge awareness.
Check out these helpful potty training supplies:
Want a FREE instant download of The Peaceful Potty Training Cheat Sheet? Drop your name & email below! We never spam.
Everything you need to know to start potty training with more confidence and calm.
5. give your toddler a heads up before starting, and let them help setup the bathroom with supplies and activities that interest them
To fully prepare for potty training, it’s best to loop your toddler in on what’s going on.
By letting your toddler help, you are allowing them the opportunity to get more comfortable with the idea, familiarize with the area and expectations and feel pride in helping. Doing this will set them up to be more calm, positive, willing and possibly even excited to begin!
Some parents prefer to spring it on their toddler, so they can avoid dealing with big feelings after mentioning potty training. But the truth is, if your toddler is going to have feelings about potty training, and most do, you are going to have to face those throughout the process.
So, help your toddler with their feelings about this transition rather than try to hide from or avoid those feelings.
You can even aim to make it fun and light, by having them help set up the bathroom with toys and activities that excite them. Yes, IN the bathroom.
By having toys and activities in the bathroom, they will be more motivated to sit and sit longer when their attention is captured. They will be calmer and more likely to release. You can read all about how to set it up and how this works to make potty training less stressful, here.
When planning what toys and activities to use, go off what interests and motivates your child. Do they love stickers? Do they love surprises? Do they love to read together? Do they love to draw with mommy’s pen?
Rotate toys and activities as needed, to keep interest and excitement.
Some things the toddlers I’ve potty trained over the years have loved are: blowing up balloons together (when they try to blow them up, this helps them release too!), opening boxes with a surprise inside, decorating a piece of construction paper with stickers and looking through books with pictures of real animals.
These 5 things will make potty training less stressful.
For more potty training support, you can read all my potty training blog posts, here.
And consider signing up for my free Peaceful Potty Training Cheat Sheet, complete with supply list, what to expect and how to prepare.
Follow me on Instagram for tips and to ask questions any time!
Read this next:
