How To Enjoy Summer When You’re Not Completely Confident With Your Postpartum Body

Summer is upon us and splashed all over social media are images and videos about ‘summer bodies’, about ‘hot girl summer’. 

Maybe you feel anxious about summer because you’ll have to wear clothes that show more of your body. And maybe the thought of getting into a bathing suit with your new postpartum body absolutely stresses you out, makes you want to run and hide, and decline all the summer event invites.

This body is so different than your pre-baby body. This body isn’t one you know. This body isn’t one that society openly adores and accepts. This body though, is normal.

Stretch marks, cellulite, sagging skin, fat – this is all normal. Normal human bodies, un-filtered, un-airbrushed, not altered by surgery…

Is it the standard image of beauty and normalcy that we see online, on television, on celebrities? No. And truthfully, that is actually where the problem lies at it’s core. Your body is normal, and the fact that mainstream media and society does not talk more about that truth, that’s the problem. 

But here we are, nonetheless, feeling unworthy, ashamed, worried about judgement and ridicule, embarrassed, filled with self-hate, mourning our pre-baby bodies.

We’ve come to believe our bodies are not normal, that they’re not acceptable, beautiful, worthy as they once were before babies. That we should hide unless our bodies get back to looking a certain way. 

Truthfully, the idea of ‘summer bodies’ and ‘hot girl summer’ pits people against one another (and themselves), and creates opportunity for more real world body-shaming and bullying, rather than a societal norm of body understanding, acceptance and celebration.

So to that I say, the fear is valid. To that I also say, there will always be one world that loves, supports and accepts us and one that does not. WE get to choose the one we listen to. Read that again momma.

I really think moms need to hear this. Moms who are healing, moms who are working on their self-acceptance, their mental health and trying to minimize the new stress in their lives due to motherhood. I’m part of those moms.

I’m not completely at peace with my postpartum body. I have yet to meet a mom who is. It’s a general feeling and one we hide, along with our bodies after babies. I understand why. I’m still learning and growing and accepting. I’m still a work in progress and I know many moms are at the same point I am.

I used to be a size 2, 103lb lightweight, active and toned, in the best shape of my life, who wore lulus and tank tops each day, messy bun and go. Today, I’m still mostly wearing my twin pregnancy leggings and my husbands tees and am juuuust starting to get me pre-pregnancy strength back. Two very different bodies.

Does this sound familiar?

It can be so hard not to be anxious, ashamed and stressed when we’re so influenced by only one reality of postpartum bodies. Yes, some bodies look the same as they did before baby was born. YES. Sigh. And some do not. Some look wildly different. YES. Sigh. Some look slightly different. YES. Sigh.

In these feelings of anxiety, shame and stress about your body, you are not alone. BabyCenter did a poll of 7,000 mothers and 64% confessed that their body image has gotten worse since they became a mother. 

In one part of the article, it talked about body image and how most women feel in their bodies after having babies – even if they do lose the weight they gained. Here is what the poll showed about these moms: “Even the lucky few who lose the baby weight quickly may have a rough time accepting themselves. Kimberly Benkwitt of Pelham, New York, has lost all her pregnancy weight plus another 25 pounds and has more energy than ever – a good thing, since the 34-year-old is chasing after two toddlers as well as caring for 3-month-old Finleigh. But her pregnancy pooch leaves her feeling anything but beautiful. “I’m at the lowest weight I’ve ever been at as an adult,” she says, “yet I’m the least comfortable with my body.”

What a universal feeling and one that we all would love to free ourselves from, I can only imagine. Whether we’re working toward a fitnss goal or are at our final destination, we CAN choose self-acceptance and self-love NOW. We CAN drown out the noise from the world that gawks at us and tune into the one that accepts, loves, appreciates and knows our worth outside of what our body looks like.

Here is what I want to say (and for other moms to hear) about ‘hot girl summer’ that we see a lot of here on IG and feel anxiety about 

Q: What do I want to do this summer?
A: I want to *enjoy it* with my friends and family.

Ok. And to do that more fully, it will help if I own my body.

Deep breath.

Ok.

SoOoOoo forget ‘hot girl summer’, I’m going for: owning my postpartum body and enjoying my summer with friends and family, summer…