Potty Training Pro Tips Every First Timer Needs To Know - The Peaceful Potty Training Method
No need to bribe with candy or force sitting. And no need to drag the process out for months and months. I am going to show you how you can set a solid foundation for potty training in the first 3 days, while keeping it peaceful and low-stress for all, so you can see success sooner.
My approach typically takes a total of 10 days and doesn’t include tricking, bribing or forcing – all of which research shows can harm the parent-child relationship and back us into more push back from our toddlers.
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Welcome to The Peaceful Potty Training Method. A unique approach created in a Montessori-inspired home daycare & preschool setting, where I’ve potty trained more than 20 toddlers, including my own twins. Here we go…
1. Rearrange the play area to be near the bathroom you will use for the first 3 days & focus on potty cues
This is the potty training starter tip of all tips. Instead of following your toddler around the house asking them if they have to go (they will most likely say no and don’t truly know what it feels like to have to go yet), keep them close to the potty all day and take potty breaks together.
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Indicators Your Toddler Has To Pee or Poop & Teaching Urge Awareness
Let them help set up this ‘new’ (and temporary, don’t worry!) play area so they familiarize, feel excited and involved. Your toddler is more likely to be a happy participant in potty training when they feel involved versus feeling like this is happening to them.
Why play near the bathroom rather than just all around the house as usual?
- You minimize the likelihood of accidents and frustrations when you play close to the bathroom rather than down the hall or in the next room.
- Your toddler can experience less pressure, less stress and less accidents because the distance from point A to point B, isn’t as far.
- You will have less accidents to clean all around the house, which means you will be less exhausted and frustrated.
- You will feel a sense of control and balance while going through the time and energy-consuming process of coaching your child through awareness of having to go potty, how to go potty, and fears of going on the potty.
Having a controlled area with some awesome toys and activities that your toddler is interested in, for them to do and reminding them why you are staying near the potty, will help minimize the madness. Remember, you guys are a team and you will get to the goal together.
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As for the potty breaks – these are guided (done together) and announced (you prompt them) something like this: “Ok potty break! Run to the potty with mommy and bring your monster truck! Let’s see if anything has to come out.”
Some toddlers have to pee every 10 minutes while others don’t have to but every few hours. You most likely won’t know which your toddler is, until you have them in undies and are practicing using the potty during potty training. This is why, taking potty breaks is so helpful.
Additionally, paying attention to any signals that they are about to pee or poop, will help you time those potty breaks more according to your toddler’s specific needs. Jotting some notes down the first day or two will allow you to recognize any specific time patterns they might have.
Some typical times most toddlers (even just people in general) will have to pee and poop are:
- Right after waking
- Right before sleeping
- After drinking or eating
So, right after waking in the morning or after nap, right before bed and nap, after meals and after drinking water and milk, will be times for you to pay close attention to their cues and/or announce a potty break.
You can tell them why you are taking these potty breaks, to help teach them what is going on in their bodies (which will help speed up the process for those toddlers who don’t yet understand what it feels like to have to go). You can say – “ok, after lunch we are going to sit on the potty for a couple minutes because we just ate and drank and usually pee or poop has to come out after eating and drinking. Let’s sit and see if anything has to come out. We don’t know yet!”
Know that this process is usually tiring for all. So I encourage you to find ways you can take self care moments throughout the day to stay calm and patient (10 days can feel like forever, but usually after day 3 you see noticeable progress. This is hard work for them!)
Also know that most toddlers have feelings (sometimes big feelings) about using the potty. In this case, I highly recommend putting together a peace corner, where they can go to relax and reset when they are feeling upset.
We want to comfort and calm them, and recognize this is hard for them BUT not stop the process simply because they are feeling upset. We can help them through their feelings, comfort and love them, AND see potty training success too.
2. Set up interesting toys and activities for them to do IN the bathroom, and alternate as needed.
During the first few days you will learn what motivates your child to sit and wait on the potty.
Having activities IN the bathroom to keep your child occupied while they wait (that’s all we’re doing right now is waiting and trying) for pee or poop, will help capture and keep their attention which will keep them calm and relaxed.
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EVERYTHING You Will Need In Place For Low Stress Potty Training – Supply List & Self Care Tips
Think of the bathroom as if it were the waiting room at the doctor’s office – your toddler needs a few cool things to help them pass the time.
In order to stay calm and keep from feeling discouraged by push back or accidents, focus on a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset when potty training. Ie: fixed mindset – “nothing came out, you didn’t do anything”. Growth mindset – “you sat, waited and tried! You’re learning your body’s urges and will get pee and poop in the potty soon!”
Some potty training activity ideas are:
- Decorate a sticker board with their name on it.
- Treasure chest unwrapping (use tissue paper and wrap puzzle pieces, place those in a cool tupperware container. Let them open and unwrap and match the puzzle pieces to the board.)
- Look up pictures of real animals on your phone or keep animal books in the bathroom for them to look through and discover cool and unusual animals.
- Blow up some balloons together.
- Talk about what they want for Christmas and write it on their wishlist.
- Set a timer and make a game of racing to the potty when the buzzer goes off.
Doing this will:
- Keep little one busy while waiting for pee and or poop to come out (heads up: sometimes when they’re just starting out, nothing happens when they sit. Tip: still celebrate the sitting and trying. This is progress!)
- Have them feeling ok, maybe even excited to sit on the potty (so they can work on a cool project).
- Allow you to avoid headaches or frustrations, including most ‘I don’t want to go to the potty!’ situations with your child.
I do want you to know that – once toddlers have the urge awareness and are in a habit of going to the potty to sit, there isn’t much need for any toys or activities anymore. Yep! So, you’re looking at maybe 3-4 days of having these things as helpful tools, before typically, they aren’t needed anymore.
3. Create a peace corner so they have a comforting, safe space to handle the many feelings they will have because of this potty-training process.
Most children will have many feelings about potty-training.
Creating a special space just for them to handle their feelings will be a fun project to do together, and will help prepare them for the change that is going to happen.
It will allow you opportunities to give them a heads about what you will be starting soon, and ask them questions about how they feel about it. Asking how they feel, whether they respond verbally or not, will allow you to read their body language and help them through their feelings.
Have them help design the peace corner and stock it with calming toys and activities they will enjoy like teddies, a cozy blanket, a puzzles, destress balls and more…
Ok, and lastly, let’s touch on the pre-potty prep that will set you into an informed mindset and prepare your toddler for the changes that potty training will bring (so important! Toddlers perform best when they know what to expect):
- Give LO a heads up about what you’ll be starting 2-3 days before the act of sitting on the potty begins. Toddlers do best when they know what to expect.
- Get into a coach mindset.
- Be prepared to give extra cuddles and comforting if fears pop up.
- Clear your calendar for the first 3 days so you can be fully focused on potty-training only. Doing this will keep your time spent on potty-training, shorter overall.
- Talk to your partner about the game plan so you are both on the same page and can support one another.
- Take note of what works best and do more of that! (and share those tips with your care team and/or partner) Is there a specific toy that motivates best? Are there specific times they pee or poop?
4. Have your child wear only underwear on the bottom until accidents are minimal.
Having your toddler wear underwear allows them to practice the skill of pulling underwear down and up. This can be hard and frustrating for some when they just begin.
It also helps to catch some of their accidents (less cleanup for you), gives them a sense of comfort and it minimizes frustrations because they don’t have to worry about pulling thick or heavy pants down or their underwear getting bunched up when they try to pull their pants back up.
For the first few days, it is also a good idea to have them stay off of any carpet or rugs if possible. Cleanup on tile and wood floors is much easier to manage. Keeping paper towels, gloves and sanitizing wipes handy will help make for quicker, easier cleanup (especially with poop!).
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Remember, this is all temporary. Your child WILL get a hang of it and you CAN stay more calm and peaceful through this process.
Once you start seeing an understanding of urge awareness, less accidents, ability to hold it and more independent action, you can begin to play in different parts of the house, even go for an outing!
This is a natural and gradual flow and growth, that my Peaceful Potty Training Method is all about. Yes we are teaching and guiding, but we are also exercising extra patience and watching them learn and master the required steps in their own time. (Don’t mistake this for giving up or letting them ‘potty train themselves’. This is quite different, as the first 3 days are very focused and guided, paying close attention to their cues and adapting our actions to theirs so we can best teach them what needs to be done).
For eventual outings – I like to take a potty with me in the car or on walks, just in case. I also encourage them to tell me as they are running to the potty or when they have to go “I have to go pee!”, so that when we are out in public they tell me and I can try and get them to a toilet in time, rather than silently have an accident all of a sudden.
Know that some toddlers master using the potty in a week (like one of my twins did) and others take a month or more (like my other twin daughter did). Both scenarios are normal and ok and you, nor they, are defined by how quickly they can potty train.
In my experience, there has been an optimal age (sometimes toddlers want to start before this age, like one of my twins did) to start potty training and it does not depend of whether your child can speak well or not. This article explains the optimal age and top 3 readiness signs – When To Start Potty Training Your Toddler (so it’s easier for all!)
You’ve got this! Take a look through all my Potty Training Blog Posts for more support. And for even more in-depth support, complete with supply list and wording for tough situations, click here to download our FREE Peaceful Potty Training Cheat Sheet.
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