How To Get Your Toddler To Stop Whining So Much – 6 Phrases To Teach Them

Stop the whining, and say hello to less painful communication (hallelujah!)

Even if your child is not yet pronouncing words perfectly, we mommas know what they’re saying and signaling if we pay attention, right?

But the whining, oh my goodness! No thank you! It burns you up and tears you down, and makes you want to run away and hide, yell or cry.

I know it’s the last thing you want to start your day with or come home to after a long day. We have all been there. Long days, rough days, I’m-so-tired days, I just need me time days… 

We’re not perfect, we’re trying to do our best and create as much balance as possible. We implement different things to see what sticks so we can have better days more often.

Less whining will make for better, more balanced days, guaranteed. And rest assured – you CAN help your toddler to communicate differently, by teaching them simple phrases to use instead of whining.

Let me show you how you can change this habit, fairly quickly.

When The Whining Happens

When the whining happens, respond to the need as normal, and once you identify what it is they need — say the phrase you want them to use instead of whining, 2-3 times. For example, “You want milk? Ok, milk please. Milk please. Mmmmm milk please.” Hand them the milk. Move on.

Repetition is a toddler’s best friend when it comes to communication. So, by you saying and repeating the words ‘milk please’ you are exposing your child to these words and linking the act of getting them milk with that phrase. 

Soon, they’ll start to try and mimic you. Toddlers are sponges AND parrots 😉

And they’ll realize that you respond to their mmm ppp (what ‘milk please’ will probably sound like in the beginning with a young toddler) as you did when they whined. Repeat this each time they whine, so that they understand that saying ‘mmmm pppp/milk please’ gets your attention therefore, no need for whining. Hallelujah!

Use consistently and prompt them to repeat

If your toddler does not try to repeat what you’re saying on their own, tell them to. After they whine, try saying, “Ok, milk? Say milk please.” Or “Ok, milk. No need to whine. Say milk please and mom will know what you need, ok?” Hand them the milk and move on, whether they repeat or not.

By you prompting them to repeat, they will begin to understand that this is expected behavior. When you continuously saying ‘milk please’ until they begin saying it, you’re teaching them. 

Top phrases to teach your toddler

• Help please – for toy struggles, putting on shoes, reaching something…

• All done – for eating, when playing, bath time…

• More please – for eating, tickles, story time, when playing…

• No thank you – when they don’t want something offered.

• Up please – when they want to be picked up, helped up to a seat…

• Milk please – when they want milk.

For younger babies/non verbal

For the younger babies – 9 months+, teaching them the sign language that corresponds with the phrases will greatly help them communicate with less fussing and frustration from the start, which will mean less stress for you!

Try it and let me know if the whining lets up in the comments below Xx